The Girlfriend
Even as she glanced at her watch for what seemed to be the tenth time in the last 3 minutes, Nina wished she could stop the tapping. But it was a habit since childhood, she always tapped her left foot on the ground when she was impatient or restive. There it went again! Tap, tap, tap.
“Stop it, Nina,” she muttered to herself. “You’ll snap the heel right off!” But where the hell was he? They’d been dating for several weeks and if she knew anything about him, he was usually fastidious about being on time.
“I never keep a lady waiting,” he’d said to her once. “That’s my motto, Nina.”
“Yeah, well, looks like you ditched that one today.” Nina patted her forehead with a tissue. It was so hot and her foundation would start running any minute. She looked longingly at her house at the end of the street. Perhaps she should go back inside and wait for him there.
There was a screeching of tires and she looked up to see the familiar black SUV roaring up the road. Most of the roads in this charming neighbourhood of South Mumbai were quite wide, but a car as big as the one Vikram drove seemed to devour most of it. Nina could see the driver’s window being rolled down even before the car came to a halt in front of her. Despite her irritation at being kept waiting in the heat, her heart gave a little leap as soon as she caught sight of his clean shaven, handsome face smiling at her from inside. She was amazed that she still got butterflies when she saw him. After all, they’d been going out for more than two months.
“I’m so sorry I’m late.” He swung the door open and got out of the car. “My sister had a flight to catch. I had to take her to the airport.”
“That’s not fair.” Nina looked outraged even as he held the passenger door open for her. “Now I can’t be mad at you.”
They both laughed and she stepped into the car. “You know you really should think about changing something in here.” She waved in the general direction of the interiors. “Black car, black upholstery, black everything! Honestly, isn’t it a little too masculine?”
“Well, it’s a man’s car isn’t it?” He looked around the car in amusement and then nodded. “You know, you’re right,” he conceded. “It is a bit much. Don’t want the ladies to feel uncomfortable. So what do you suggest?”
“Well, the black upholstery has to go. And perhaps a new carpet might be nice.” That was another thing she really liked about him. He was so easy going and relaxed. She could really be herself with him.
“You have a point,” he agreed with her then. “Perhaps I’ll make a visit to the auto shop this weekend. Oh — seat belt, please.” Vikram was very particular about seat belts and he waited for her as she fumbled with the strap. Once it was buckled into place, he started the ignition and they took off.
The restaurant was elegant with piped piano music playing softly in the background. Vikram took her hand and led her to a corner table, facing the greens outside. Even as he pulled a chair out for her and waited, Nina couldn’t help thinking how mature and charming he was. So different from most of the other men she’d dated. “I suppose the fact that he’s been running his own business since he was 23 has made all the difference,” she thought to herself. “He’s a man of the world.”
As usual the conversation flowed easily over lunch. They had very similar tastes in movies and music and they got chatting about the latest horror flick on Netflix. “I’m amazed at how many people shudder at the thought of watching a horror film.” Vikram spread his hands out. “What’s the big deal about a horror film when life itself can be so much more terrifying?” Laughing, he took a piece of Focaccia from the bread basket and dipped it in olive oil.
“That’s a profound thought.” Nina looked impressed. “Handsome, charming and intelligent. A keeper for sure.”
The waiter arrived with the wine, and after Vikram had approved the taste and temperature, he poured it into glasses.
“To that project you’ve been working for.” Vikram held his glass up and smiled at her. ‘Cheers!’
Smiling back at him, she took a sip of wine and almost immediately winced. She never ordered red wine; it unfailingly gave her heartburn.
“Is the wine OK?” Vikram suddenly looked at her in concern. “You look a little uncomfortable, Nina.”
She was surprised he’d noticed her unease. He must be a naturally sensitive man. “Actually I prefer white. Red gives me acidity,” she confessed, a little embarrassed. After all, he’d ordered by the bottle and it was expensive.
“I’m so sorry, Nina.” He looked genuinely contrite. “I overstepped. I should have asked you your preference. I can’t believe that I never realized that you don’t like red wine. We’ve been going out for weeks after all, it’s the least I should know.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Nina placed her hand on his and smiled.
“Nevertheless, let me order you a glass of white.” He called the server. “A glass of your best white wine for my girlfriend please.”
Nina looked at him in surprise. He’d never called her his girlfriend before. This was quite a step forward, nevertheless, a step in the right direction. Smiling, she took a sip from the glass of white wine that was placed in front of her. It was delicious.
Not surprisingly, she was in great spirits by the time they ordered dessert. “Their Choco Lava Cake is legendary,” suggested Vikram as she scanned the menu. “You should really. . .” He stopped abruptly and then shook his head, laughing. “There I go again! I’m so sorry, you order what you like.”
“No, no, I love chocolate.”
“Still! Look at the menu. You should choose for yourself.”
“Oh, OK.” Nina opened the menu again. She studied it for a few seconds and then laughed. “Actually I think I will have something else. The apple pie sounds delicious.”
“See? That’s what I mean.” Vikram nodded as though he’d proved his point. “You girls these days are so much more independent. You know what you want, you like to choose for yourselves, take your own decisions.”
“That’s true.” Nina laughed. “But I’m the best example of that aren’t I? After all, didn’t I ask you out?”
“Ah yes!” Vikram slapped his forehead. “How could I forget? You’re a modern, confident, independent woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.”
“You make me sound like the quintessential feminist,” commented Nina then.
“But that’s a good thing Nina. And frankly, I’m a progressive man, I respect that. Apple pie it is!” They both laughed and then the server came over to take their dessert orders.
“I’m so full!” Nina exclaimed as they got into the car and she buckled up her seat belt. It was nearly 4 o’clock and they’d been the last ones to leave the restaurant. But that wasn’t new for them, they always enjoyed each other’s company far too much. Nina noticed that the parking lot had been full when they’d arrived but now it was nearly empty. Thankfully, Vikram had parked under the shaded canopy of 2 trees in the corner of the lot so the car wasn’t too hot. Nina pushed her seat back a little. She knew she’d eaten too much but the food had been very good. “I knew it was a mistake to order that apple pie,” she laughed then. “But I have a weakness for it and……oh!”
He tasted of red wine and cigarettes. Even as she registered what was happening, the first thought that came to her was that he was holding her too hard. It wasn’t the first time she’d kissed a man but nothing about this was familiar or even comfortable. Squirming, Nina tried to turn her face away but his right hand had a firm grip on the back of her neck and she couldn’t move. Even as his body pressed against hers, she realized that her skirt had ridden up and his trousered leg felt rough against her bare thighs. She tried to pull her skirt back into place but her arms were pinned against the door. Strangely, the black interiors of the car seemed to close in around her and confine her there with the man who had just called her his girlfriend. Nina felt as though she couldn’t breathe.
It must have lasted all of a minute or so but to Nina it didn’t feel that way. In fact, when he did release her, she wanted to tell him exactly how uncomfortable she’d felt but she didn’t say anything. She just smoothed down her skirt, turned her face toward the window and allowed him to drive her home as though nothing had happened. Perhaps she felt stupid about the whole thing or maybe she just didn’t want to have a confrontation or create a scene. Even as they drove in the direction of her house, she kept telling herself, repeating to herself that he was basically a nice man and that it had just been a kiss.
“Well that was fun, wasn’t it?” He smiled at her as he stopped the car in front of her house. “Let’s have dinner next weekend? I promise I’ll get the upholstery changed by then.” Leaning over, he hugged her briefly and she winced. She just couldn’t bring herself to hug him back. “Take care Nina. I hope the acidity from the wine gets better.”
Strange, she thought as she walked down her driveway. A man who was otherwise so sensitive that he’d noticed her unease over a glass of wine could be so insensitive about her palpable distress over a physical advance that she hadn’t wanted, that he’d practically forced on her. A man who was so particular about not overstepping about a dessert could overstep so blatantly where it really mattered. A man who claimed to be so progressive in every other way, didn’t seem to understand that a physical advance should never be unilateral. Some people might think it was just a kiss, but even if it was (which she didn’t think so), it had made her very, very uncomfortable. Didn’t he realize how it had made her feel? But if an otherwise sensitive, gentle man could be so oblivious to how a woman feels, what she wants, then how would he ever realize that what had just happened wasn’t right?
Nina stopped. Even as she turned around and began to walk back, she knew Vikram hadn’t left. He always waited for her to reach the end of the driveway before he drove off.
“Hi!” She tapped his window and he rolled it down at once.
“Hey? Did you forget something?”
“Not really. Can you step out for a minute?”
“Sure!” He opened the door and stepped out of the car. “What’s up?”
Nina took a deep breath. She wanted to keep this straight, simple and candid. “I wanted you to know that I didn’t like the way you kissed me today. It made me very uncomfortable.”
Vikram looked genuinely shocked. “But—but it was just a kiss. And you’re my girlfriend and . . .”
“So?” Nina crossed her arms and shrugged. “I’m your girlfriend. That doesn’t give you the right to do what you want.”
“It was just a kiss, Nina,” he repeated. “And I . . .I thought you wanted. . .I mean . . .”
“I don’t think I gave you any indication that I wanted you to come on to me like that, Vikram.”
He stared at Nina and then exhaled. “Look, I’m sorry if you misunderstood but . . .”
“That’s the issue though.” Nina cut him off. “I didn’t misunderstand. You’re an otherwise sensitive man. Surely, you’re also sensitive enough to notice when a woman is palpably uncomfortable with something. You must have sensed my unease. You could have stopped. You didn’t. I don’t know if you’re genuinely oblivious to what happened. If you are then I hope you’ll try and be more sensitive, more aware of how a woman is feeling in the future. And if you’re just trying to cover up for what you did, then I’m very disgusted with you. You’re an educated and ‘progressive’ man.” She made air quotes with her fingers. “These were your own words. It’s a pity that someone like you can behave in such an uncouth and presumptuous manner. I thought I’d let it go but I don’t see why I should. I deserve to be able to express how I feel and you deserve to know that what you did wasn’t right. After all, didn’t you say yourself that we girls these days are so much more independent? We know what we want, we like to choose for ourselves, take our own decisions. Well, what happened today in that car of yours wasn’t my choice, neither was it my decision. Think about it, Vikram.” She turned to go and then glanced at him over her shoulder. “Also, I’m no longer your girlfriend. Don’t call me again.”
“Stop it, Nina,” she muttered to herself. “You’ll snap the heel right off!” But where the hell was he? They’d been dating for several weeks and if she knew anything about him, he was usually fastidious about being on time.
“I never keep a lady waiting,” he’d said to her once. “That’s my motto, Nina.”
“Yeah, well, looks like you ditched that one today.” Nina patted her forehead with a tissue. It was so hot and her foundation would start running any minute. She looked longingly at her house at the end of the street. Perhaps she should go back inside and wait for him there.
There was a screeching of tires and she looked up to see the familiar black SUV roaring up the road. Most of the roads in this charming neighbourhood of South Mumbai were quite wide, but a car as big as the one Vikram drove seemed to devour most of it. Nina could see the driver’s window being rolled down even before the car came to a halt in front of her. Despite her irritation at being kept waiting in the heat, her heart gave a little leap as soon as she caught sight of his clean shaven, handsome face smiling at her from inside. She was amazed that she still got butterflies when she saw him. After all, they’d been going out for more than two months.
“I’m so sorry I’m late.” He swung the door open and got out of the car. “My sister had a flight to catch. I had to take her to the airport.”
“That’s not fair.” Nina looked outraged even as he held the passenger door open for her. “Now I can’t be mad at you.”
They both laughed and she stepped into the car. “You know you really should think about changing something in here.” She waved in the general direction of the interiors. “Black car, black upholstery, black everything! Honestly, isn’t it a little too masculine?”
“Well, it’s a man’s car isn’t it?” He looked around the car in amusement and then nodded. “You know, you’re right,” he conceded. “It is a bit much. Don’t want the ladies to feel uncomfortable. So what do you suggest?”
“Well, the black upholstery has to go. And perhaps a new carpet might be nice.” That was another thing she really liked about him. He was so easy going and relaxed. She could really be herself with him.
“You have a point,” he agreed with her then. “Perhaps I’ll make a visit to the auto shop this weekend. Oh — seat belt, please.” Vikram was very particular about seat belts and he waited for her as she fumbled with the strap. Once it was buckled into place, he started the ignition and they took off.
The restaurant was elegant with piped piano music playing softly in the background. Vikram took her hand and led her to a corner table, facing the greens outside. Even as he pulled a chair out for her and waited, Nina couldn’t help thinking how mature and charming he was. So different from most of the other men she’d dated. “I suppose the fact that he’s been running his own business since he was 23 has made all the difference,” she thought to herself. “He’s a man of the world.”
As usual the conversation flowed easily over lunch. They had very similar tastes in movies and music and they got chatting about the latest horror flick on Netflix. “I’m amazed at how many people shudder at the thought of watching a horror film.” Vikram spread his hands out. “What’s the big deal about a horror film when life itself can be so much more terrifying?” Laughing, he took a piece of Focaccia from the bread basket and dipped it in olive oil.
“That’s a profound thought.” Nina looked impressed. “Handsome, charming and intelligent. A keeper for sure.”
The waiter arrived with the wine, and after Vikram had approved the taste and temperature, he poured it into glasses.
“To that project you’ve been working for.” Vikram held his glass up and smiled at her. ‘Cheers!’
Smiling back at him, she took a sip of wine and almost immediately winced. She never ordered red wine; it unfailingly gave her heartburn.
“Is the wine OK?” Vikram suddenly looked at her in concern. “You look a little uncomfortable, Nina.”
She was surprised he’d noticed her unease. He must be a naturally sensitive man. “Actually I prefer white. Red gives me acidity,” she confessed, a little embarrassed. After all, he’d ordered by the bottle and it was expensive.
“I’m so sorry, Nina.” He looked genuinely contrite. “I overstepped. I should have asked you your preference. I can’t believe that I never realized that you don’t like red wine. We’ve been going out for weeks after all, it’s the least I should know.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Nina placed her hand on his and smiled.
“Nevertheless, let me order you a glass of white.” He called the server. “A glass of your best white wine for my girlfriend please.”
Nina looked at him in surprise. He’d never called her his girlfriend before. This was quite a step forward, nevertheless, a step in the right direction. Smiling, she took a sip from the glass of white wine that was placed in front of her. It was delicious.
Not surprisingly, she was in great spirits by the time they ordered dessert. “Their Choco Lava Cake is legendary,” suggested Vikram as she scanned the menu. “You should really. . .” He stopped abruptly and then shook his head, laughing. “There I go again! I’m so sorry, you order what you like.”
“No, no, I love chocolate.”
“Still! Look at the menu. You should choose for yourself.”
“Oh, OK.” Nina opened the menu again. She studied it for a few seconds and then laughed. “Actually I think I will have something else. The apple pie sounds delicious.”
“See? That’s what I mean.” Vikram nodded as though he’d proved his point. “You girls these days are so much more independent. You know what you want, you like to choose for yourselves, take your own decisions.”
“That’s true.” Nina laughed. “But I’m the best example of that aren’t I? After all, didn’t I ask you out?”
“Ah yes!” Vikram slapped his forehead. “How could I forget? You’re a modern, confident, independent woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.”
“You make me sound like the quintessential feminist,” commented Nina then.
“But that’s a good thing Nina. And frankly, I’m a progressive man, I respect that. Apple pie it is!” They both laughed and then the server came over to take their dessert orders.
“I’m so full!” Nina exclaimed as they got into the car and she buckled up her seat belt. It was nearly 4 o’clock and they’d been the last ones to leave the restaurant. But that wasn’t new for them, they always enjoyed each other’s company far too much. Nina noticed that the parking lot had been full when they’d arrived but now it was nearly empty. Thankfully, Vikram had parked under the shaded canopy of 2 trees in the corner of the lot so the car wasn’t too hot. Nina pushed her seat back a little. She knew she’d eaten too much but the food had been very good. “I knew it was a mistake to order that apple pie,” she laughed then. “But I have a weakness for it and……oh!”
He tasted of red wine and cigarettes. Even as she registered what was happening, the first thought that came to her was that he was holding her too hard. It wasn’t the first time she’d kissed a man but nothing about this was familiar or even comfortable. Squirming, Nina tried to turn her face away but his right hand had a firm grip on the back of her neck and she couldn’t move. Even as his body pressed against hers, she realized that her skirt had ridden up and his trousered leg felt rough against her bare thighs. She tried to pull her skirt back into place but her arms were pinned against the door. Strangely, the black interiors of the car seemed to close in around her and confine her there with the man who had just called her his girlfriend. Nina felt as though she couldn’t breathe.
It must have lasted all of a minute or so but to Nina it didn’t feel that way. In fact, when he did release her, she wanted to tell him exactly how uncomfortable she’d felt but she didn’t say anything. She just smoothed down her skirt, turned her face toward the window and allowed him to drive her home as though nothing had happened. Perhaps she felt stupid about the whole thing or maybe she just didn’t want to have a confrontation or create a scene. Even as they drove in the direction of her house, she kept telling herself, repeating to herself that he was basically a nice man and that it had just been a kiss.
“Well that was fun, wasn’t it?” He smiled at her as he stopped the car in front of her house. “Let’s have dinner next weekend? I promise I’ll get the upholstery changed by then.” Leaning over, he hugged her briefly and she winced. She just couldn’t bring herself to hug him back. “Take care Nina. I hope the acidity from the wine gets better.”
Strange, she thought as she walked down her driveway. A man who was otherwise so sensitive that he’d noticed her unease over a glass of wine could be so insensitive about her palpable distress over a physical advance that she hadn’t wanted, that he’d practically forced on her. A man who was so particular about not overstepping about a dessert could overstep so blatantly where it really mattered. A man who claimed to be so progressive in every other way, didn’t seem to understand that a physical advance should never be unilateral. Some people might think it was just a kiss, but even if it was (which she didn’t think so), it had made her very, very uncomfortable. Didn’t he realize how it had made her feel? But if an otherwise sensitive, gentle man could be so oblivious to how a woman feels, what she wants, then how would he ever realize that what had just happened wasn’t right?
Nina stopped. Even as she turned around and began to walk back, she knew Vikram hadn’t left. He always waited for her to reach the end of the driveway before he drove off.
“Hi!” She tapped his window and he rolled it down at once.
“Hey? Did you forget something?”
“Not really. Can you step out for a minute?”
“Sure!” He opened the door and stepped out of the car. “What’s up?”
Nina took a deep breath. She wanted to keep this straight, simple and candid. “I wanted you to know that I didn’t like the way you kissed me today. It made me very uncomfortable.”
Vikram looked genuinely shocked. “But—but it was just a kiss. And you’re my girlfriend and . . .”
“So?” Nina crossed her arms and shrugged. “I’m your girlfriend. That doesn’t give you the right to do what you want.”
“It was just a kiss, Nina,” he repeated. “And I . . .I thought you wanted. . .I mean . . .”
“I don’t think I gave you any indication that I wanted you to come on to me like that, Vikram.”
He stared at Nina and then exhaled. “Look, I’m sorry if you misunderstood but . . .”
“That’s the issue though.” Nina cut him off. “I didn’t misunderstand. You’re an otherwise sensitive man. Surely, you’re also sensitive enough to notice when a woman is palpably uncomfortable with something. You must have sensed my unease. You could have stopped. You didn’t. I don’t know if you’re genuinely oblivious to what happened. If you are then I hope you’ll try and be more sensitive, more aware of how a woman is feeling in the future. And if you’re just trying to cover up for what you did, then I’m very disgusted with you. You’re an educated and ‘progressive’ man.” She made air quotes with her fingers. “These were your own words. It’s a pity that someone like you can behave in such an uncouth and presumptuous manner. I thought I’d let it go but I don’t see why I should. I deserve to be able to express how I feel and you deserve to know that what you did wasn’t right. After all, didn’t you say yourself that we girls these days are so much more independent? We know what we want, we like to choose for ourselves, take our own decisions. Well, what happened today in that car of yours wasn’t my choice, neither was it my decision. Think about it, Vikram.” She turned to go and then glanced at him over her shoulder. “Also, I’m no longer your girlfriend. Don’t call me again.”
Rrashima Swaarup Verma is a 39-year-old senior corporate professional living in India. Verma is Senior Vice President and a member of the senior management team with a leading US based business research and strategic consulting firm. Verma is also a prolific writer, poet and columnist. Her writings are regularly published in several national and international magazines, literary journals and newspapers. Verma has also participated in and moderated several prestigious book launches and discussions.
Art: Public Domain
Powered by Women